Addressing forgetfulness when you have ADHD
“I can’t seem to remember anything! I keep forgetting to take my transit pass when I leave the house. I often forget appointments or double-book myself. Last week, I went to the post office to ship a package, but once I got there, I realized I had left the package at home! Is there a foolproof way to remember things?”
The bad news is that if you have ADHD, your brain might let you down sometimes. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) influences your focus, which can often lead to forgetfulness. The good news is that once you can accept this, there are ways to work around it.
1. Don’t stress. Accept your limitations.
We all have our own limitations. For many people living with ADHD, forgetfulness is one limitation. To help overcome your forgetfulness, you need to first accept that you won’t ever have a perfect memory.
Constantly worrying about what you might have forgotten will only put you under greater stress. Chronic stress will impact your mind and body, which might further hurt your memory in the long run.
So tell yourself that it’s OK to forget. Instead of stressing about your memory, you can focus on building the right tools to manage your ADHD brain.
2. Use brain exercises.
Studies have shown that brain exercises can boost memory and cognitive function. There are numerous brain exercises out there that can be fun for you. Below is a list of just 5 of them to help you get started.
Visualizing more
Completing crosswords
Completing jigsaw puzzles
Playing sudoku
Doing math in your head
3. Leave visual reminders in your environment.
ADHD acts on impulses and cues. Make use of visual reminders to help you remember things which you might otherwise forget.
Need to ship a package at the post office? Place it in front of your exit door.
Need to finish an assignment? Place it on top of your computer so you don’t end up getting distracted by other activities you can do on your computer.
Need to drink more water? Leave a glass of water in your reach and eyesight.
4. Have a launchpad for when you leave your home.
It can be challenging to remember all the items you need to bring with you when you leave home.
Try designate a small area near your exit door as your “launchpad”.
Place an empty bowl, or hang up some hooks, where you can leave your keys, wallet, ID, public transit pass, umbrella, etc.
Before you leave, you can simply take all the items from your launchpad. When you get home, make sure to empty everything back onto the launchpad. Once you start building the routine, it’ll become easier to go through the motions.
5. Make use of calendars and reminders.
A physical agenda or digital calendar can be an excellent tool to remind you of upcoming tasks. Make use of the convenient tools of our modern world!
Your cellphone or email provider likely has a free digital calendar that you can immediately set up and use.
Start a habit of putting all your meetings, events, important dates, and tasks on your calendar. Set reminders for them so that you will be reminded regardless of whether you remember yourself or not.
6. Create a to-do-list and keep it with you throughout the day.
Write a daily to-do-list on a piece of paper or on your cellphone.
If you opt for the paper option, keep the paper with you at all times so you can check it throughout the day.
If you opt for using your cellphone, make it your wallpaper or set up reminders so that you are alerted.
7. Let others know
If you feel comfortable, reach out to the people close to you and let them know how they can help you. Be honest about why you need help and what kinds of reminders work best for you.
My name is Anabel Helen and I’m a Toronto Asian therapist with expertise in ADHD, autism, BPD, and anxiety. Book a consultation with me if you’d like to learn to manage your forgetfulness and build powerful routines through individual or couples therapy.